he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And then my night got REAL pukey
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
