yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
