i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I fill condoms, not promises.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
