Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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