is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
