I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
