I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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