They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude i'm inner monologue high
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
