I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
