i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
