Sponge bath it is.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
