i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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