I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
