i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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