So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
