"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
