I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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