I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We were destined to go to rehab together
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
