dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
