i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm always down for nudity.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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