we were pretty classy up until the second keg
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
