I showed him my bush... on skype.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just had sex on a roof
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
