the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
