he puts the penis in happiness.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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