Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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