he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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