I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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