You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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