those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
