the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
