By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
