Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
