I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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