Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
