why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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