They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
