did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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