when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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