i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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