Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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