She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
