Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
