it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
