is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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