And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
