there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
