Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Randomize
