Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
