How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
