I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
