I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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